Final thoughts on this year

I am looking at the ceiling and thoughts are running around.  I am saying goodbye to this year.  A year full of goodbyes.  I won’t miss all the pain.  I won’t miss the tears.  But then again they are part of me and they will be entering the New Year with me.  But 2012 was the last time I spoke to my Dad, saw his face, held his hand, hugged and kissed him.  Watched movies with him, laughed with him, cried with him.  I thought I would be glad to see this year end but now I realize there was a beauty in it, sad and hard as it is.  The gift of time with him and those moments are burned into my heart and soul.  And I know that I can’t be angry at this year and expect the next to make it all better.  It is better now.  Because I had Lee and Mary in my life.  I grieve for my loss but celebrate the life they both lived.  When i say I lost my Mom 8 years ago and my Dad 8 months ago I now see they aren’t lost.  They moved on but left a part of them with me.  I see them in my eyes, the shape of my face, the texture of my skin and the rhythm of my voice. But I am going to have a good cry today no matter what.  There is no fear in my tears.  And I will miss them and love them always.  So goodbye 2012.  I say goodbye with love and tears. Image

About leeskid (Brenda Cowan)

Breathing, writing, listening
This entry was posted in Rambling Thoughts, Poems and Photos, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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